An introspective and incredibly narcissistic overview of... ummm... yeah...whatever I decide to enter.
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Her cheeseballs make excellent Christmas gifts
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Saturday, June 28, 2003
My kid looks like a neaderthal. She was running, fumbling, full-tilt (as toddlers often do) and ran head-first into the table. I mean, I thought she broke the table she hit so hard. Instantly she had a goosegg the SIZE of a goosegg, bruised, nose bleeding. I about passed out. Naturally, I panic and rush her to the ER. She's fine in the car and then proceeded to run and play all over the ER. Mom met me there and we both agreed she was probably just fine. Her eyes were fine, she wasn't vomiting or acting like she was sleepy. When the nurse told me it would be at least a 3 hour wait, that clinched it. So, I took her home. Poor kid. She's definitely going to have two black eyes and a big 'ole knot right between the eyes, but at least I have the first big scare out of the way. My birthday is tomorrow, and instead of aging one year I have aged 5....just today.
On another note, I think I fucked up. I took a pic of her after the accident because I wanted D to see it and, like an idiot, I sent it to the baby's Dad. What was I thinking??? Talk about ammo. Then again....I know his Hotmail password and can just go in and delete it later. *Insert evil grin here* Good thing he doesn't know I know it.
But, hey, it has finally stopped raining. Granted, the mosquitoes are the size of pteradactyls and it really isn't safe to even stick a finger outside without a blood transfusion. At least I'll see the benefit of the exercise I'm getting sprinting to and from the car whenever I want to go anywhere.
I wrote D a poem. Wanna read it? Sure ya do....
Vanilla Sky
Vanilla sky, pink, soft, warm
As my lover’s skin.
Light invades my senses.
Is it true light or love?
Is it emotion or touch?
Tactile memories rule my days.
I welcome the fog, long for the reverie.
Needy soul cries for her touch,
Her Smell,
Her taste.
Can I exist beyond her?
Needing our worlds to meld as one,
I’m entranced day after day.
I live
For her.
For the future she holds.
Yeah, I got the vanilla sky part from the movie, mainly because the beauty of it stuck with me. It's also funny that I can only write decent poetry when plastered. I guess Dylan Thomas had the right idea.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Things to do in Florida when it's raining........
1) Watch the snakes take refuge on your back porch.
2) Watch the geckos ride on the backs of the snakes that are taking refuge on your back porch.
3) Beat the snakes with a broom when they try to come in your back door.
4) Watch my Mom's Shih Tzu swim out to take a piss.
5) Watch the kids swim in the pool in the rain, in the lightning and wonder where the hell their mothers are.
6) Start a pool with the neighbors on how long it's going to take the lake out back to flood our apartments.
7) Clandestinely build a drainage system to the lake so you win the pool while sandbagging the shit out of your back porch.
8) Use all the dead snakes that have been beaten to death with your broom as filler between the sandbags.
9) Watch TV
10) Bake
11) Watch TV
12) Chase your toddler around fishing all the bugs out of her mouth that are saving themselves from drowning by wedging their way under your door and into your apartment.
13) Gain 15 pounds in two days because there's nothing to fucking do except watch TV and eat everything you've baked.
14) Program the Poison Control Center into your speed dial because you're tired of having to dial the number everytime your toddler eats a beetle, centipede or mole cricket.
15) Set up camp with full view of back door and front door, alternating between beating snakes with a broom and sucking bugs up the bug vacuum, all while watching TV and stuffing chocolate chip cookies into your mouth.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Friday, June 20, 2003
I am so fucking undisciplined. It's finals week and do you think I've taken my final yet? Hell no. Do you think I've even done my final project yet? Hell no. Oh well...I have until June 27. Procrastination is my friend. It's the Cancer in me. I can't help it.... Yeah, that's it. Hey, I made my Ebay payments on time.
Oh yeah, the doctors weren't able to give me any answers throughout my 452 doctor's appointments, probably because I wasn't able to cough up another $700 for tests. Communist bastards. Oh well, I still have pain pills, which I have to say ROCK!
I have been playing Martha Stewart sans insider trading this week. My cute little patio is filled with herbs and flowers and trails upon trails of miniscule ants. Hairspray kills the fuck out of them. Now what do I do about the trails upon trails of petrified ants stuck to the stucco outside? Oh Maaaaarthaaaaaa..... doubt that's on her list of Fine Things.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Monday, June 02, 2003
Jeez...it's been awhile since I've been here. A multitude of reasons come to mind, but first and foremost is the blinding pain I have been in for the past 10 days. I've had several doctor's appointments, so much bloodwork I get lightheaded at the thought, and have taken so many pain pills I am the poster child for Darvocet and STILL don't know why this is happening. Originally, it was thought to be lower back troubles, but X-Rays showed nothing. Now, my gyno thinks it's probably my endometriosis back or ovarian cysts. OH JOY. So much for all the money I have. Now, due to lack of insurance, it's all going to doctors and potentially surgery. Canada has the right fucking idea when it comes to health care. Why, when we are the richest country, do we not have something like this in place? It sucks.
On a lighter note, my baby D might be coming to see me soon. I CANNOT WAIT to see her again. Just to be able to see her and feel her again will rejeuvenate me. She is the most wonderful person on the PLANET and I am so thankful for her. What she sees in me I'll never know, but I'm just glad she loves me as much as I love her.
The baby is so cool. She's walking and talking and is generally the most awesome kid that ever lived. Now that I've said that let me just say that she was a royal pain in the ass today. It's payback for me getting her ears pierced yesterday. She was such a trooper and only cried for a couple minutes, but man oh man was she pissy today. Terrible twos at 13 months? I sure as hell hope not.
Monday, June 02, 2003
Monday, May 19, 2003
Ahhhhhhh....what a week! I have been spending my time moving out of my stifling little apartment into a (insert Bobby Trendy voice) luxuuuurious new apartment. I am LOVE-ING-IT! 1400 sq feet of pure heaven with a view of the lake and a big lanai. I have a huge kitchen, two bathrooms and the baby's room is on the other side of the apartment, so I no longer have to tip-toe around at night. $1000 a month well-spent, I gotta tell ya. On another similar note, I am loving my new room! It's huge and with my new bedding, I am spending all my time in there at night. It's doubling as an office for me, so I'm all set! It's done in deep purple and yellow tones. Heaven! Now all it needs is D and it would be complete. *sigh* I miss her so much.
Now that I've expressed the joys of the move let me just say that moving sucks ass! Gawd I hate it. I paid movers to move me, but it was still a royal pain in the posterior region. My obsessive-compulsive self didn't allow myself to stop until it was completely put together, which took 1 1/2 days, then a day to collapse in a heap. Gracie and I took a 4 hour nap the day after it was done. Jeesh, that was an awesome nap though. Can't remember the last time I did that. Oh yeah, I do remember...it was pre-baby!
In the middle of the move I got a call from my doctor. I went to see him last week for all this pain I am having. I mean, come on, I shouldn't feel like a 70 year old woman when I get up in the morning and spend most of my waking hours in pain without explanation. He said that my thyroid was probably screwed up, which would give me arthritic symptoms, so I went to have a whole array of blood work done. He called the day after and said my liver enzymes were way elevated and to come in Thursday of this week for a liver scan. Oh joy! Now, I'm nervous as hell as to what's going on. Thankfully, I'll have the results of the liver scan right after I get them in the office so I guess that's something. Jeeziz...I need a valium.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Monday, May 12, 2003
I just found out I don't have to work for another year! FAB-U-LOUS! I'm so happy that I get to stay home with Gracie. The thought of putting her into daycare was sending me into fits. To make a long story short, I worked for Rent-A-Center and basically got treated like shit because I am a woman. SO after I quit, this lawfirm contacted me and said I would receive $1000 if I participated in the class-action lawsuit against them for sexual discrimination towards women. Last week I got a check in the mail for over $15,000. WTF? Apparently they awarded point values for specific incidents and mine totaled to that much. I think I pissed myself when I saw that! So, anyway, it's going to allow me to stay home with the baby while I'm finishing school and I can't be more happy. Guess that guy shouldn't have grabbed my ass, eh? Makes me wonder what I would have gotten if I had fibbed on what happened to me. DAMN! Had I known....yeah I woulda lied, wouldn't you?
Monday, May 12, 2003
Friday, May 09, 2003
There was a time when I was heterosexual. I dated guys all through high school and even married one. (total asshole...I won't get started on that) When I left my ex-husband, I moved to another state with a guy friend of mine. He was/is in love with me. I spent about a month drunk after I got there and lo and behold, I got pregnant. I freaked. Literally freaked. I tried to have an abortion and couldn't go through with it. All it took was for me to hear her heartbeat and that was it. I was hooked. I think about that sometimes; how I almost didn't have her. It wracks me with guilt now, but most people would tell me it was perfectly understandable given the circumstance I was in at the time. She is the best thing I have ever done and the best thing I will ever do. The point of this story is HER DAD IS DRIVING ME APESHIT! We live in two different states. He hasn't seen his daughter in almost a year and he begs me incessantly to get back together with him. As if. He's an alcoholic, egocentric asshole who doesn't even take care of his 4 FOUR kids. Well, I suppose that last statement isn't fair. He does pay child support, but he isn't there for any of his kids and, even though he says he wants to be, doesn't go out of his way to see them. He lives 3 houses away from his other kids and barely has any contact with them at all, not to mention the fact that he walked out on Gracie last August and hasn't been back. Amazes me.... dark moment over. Back to regularly scheduled programming.
Friday, May 09, 2003
I was just in the kitchen and actually found myself doing little dancing moves with The Wiggles. (How in the hell do I link this?? Jeeziz I hate html) I really need to get out more. I think they probably have little subliminal messages for the parents who are subjected to this tortoure of child programming. And while I'm on the subject of The Wiggles. THEY ARE SO GAY! It's not a sterotype of British gay tendencies, either. (But have you ever noticed that?) They were doing this song about ballerinas and the guys were actually doing little ballerina moves. OMG I spit coffee all over the floor. All they needed was neon pink mesh shirts and a cosmo and I would have been convinced definitively.
Friday, May 09, 2003
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